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It Is Time To Set Your Intention

It is Time To Set Your Intention


There are many words which are used to describe “Intention” such as objective, plan, motive and design. Any of these can be applied to the practice of setting and living from your intention. If there is no intention then there is a lack of direction. You are subject to being pushed one way or the other reacting to events rather than experiencing them in the context of your intention.

My intention is to energize and engage in the conversation with individuals in mid-life about what is meaningful and to inspire and support soul nourishing action.

What is your intention for your life?

Send me an email to let me know your intention.  Click here

Meaning and purpose are developed through experience and change over time. However, it seems, rarely do we take the time to examine the important question of what is meaningful to us today and how will that be expressed in our lives.

The meaning and purpose in my life come from being of service. This is a variety of activities as simple as taking the dog for a walk, to cleaning the house or convening a group of mid-lifers in a mastermind group to talk about what matters and support each other in our designs of life.

What is meaningful and purposeful in your life?

I'd love to hear from you as to your meaning and purpose. Just click here to send me an email.

If you have not taken the time to set an intention for your life now is a good time to do it. July 26th is New Year's Day in the Mayan calendar. The New Year is always a good time to take  time for examination, reflection, setting intention and getting clear on your meaning and purpose.

Until we talk again...

Howard

I am Ready to Be Changed 

"I realize that erroneous self-defeating thinking is the cause of my unhappiness. I am ready to accept my personal power and connection to my essential self so that my life can be transformed"
                                                Howard Parsons 

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Howard Parsons, Author, Speaker, Mid-Life Mentor

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Open the Conversation to What is Here

Open The Conversation To What Is Here

There is no agenda to get you from over there to over here

A place you do not know or even care to get to.

Yet we keep grasping at straws to make more money, have more balance or less stress.

Why is it we are not content with what is right here and now?

I think we are challenged to come to grips with what is bubbling up inside. There is a longing in our hearts aching to be heard. Yet we push the feelings aside in the hope they won’t come up but they are persistent. The unrest inside of us is palpable. We feel it even if we can’t name it.

So, likehungry dogs we go hunting for more in the hopes that something found will satisfy the hunger. The hunger keeps gnawing at our stomach and shows up in body pain, sickness and grumpiness.

The only answer I can see is to open the conversation to what is here, not to get somewhere but to unveil what has been there all along.

It might be past hurts, trauma or whatever, yet unveiling it brings it into the clear light to see what part it plays in our lives.

Then the clarity of what has been you, shines through because it is no longer hidden behind the veil of shame or guilt. 

Freedom shows itself as living in the grace you have been given to live this one day as free as the bird flying past your window.

Howard

Step into Your Future:

Harness Your  Mid-Life Power of What Matters


This is an introductory evening based on my new work of what matters to you in your life. Many of us in mid-life have held the delusion that certainty is a reality. We have lived the best life we know how and still found ourselves with a heartfelt longing.
This is the start of the unveiling of what has always been there but not honoured.
Come and see what the possibilities are for you. 

Choose your date to attend:

Date: July 19, 2017  or August 23rd

Time: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Location Richmond Knob Hill Community Association
 2433 - 26 Avenue SW

Register by email here

I will get right back to you with confirmation

Howard
P.S. Feel free to bring a friend.

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Step into Your Future: Harness Your Power of What Matters

Step into Your Future:

Harness Your Power of What Matters

Date: July 19, 2017

Time: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Location Richmond Knob Hill Community Association
 2433 - 26 Avenue SW

Register by email:  Click Here

Step into Your Future:
Harness Your Power of What Really Matters

 

It seems to me we have lost the rhythm of the life our parents described to us and encouraged us to work and play in. We were told to get an education, get married and find a career with a good company that had a pension plan. My dad said, “When you are sixty, son, you'll be able to retire and travel and relax.”  It has not worked out that way. Is this somewhat like your picture? 

No one predicted the world would change so dramatically in what seems such a short period of time. Now we are living life at mach speed, feeling like we are on a roller coaster we did not choose and each day we seem to lose more focus .

I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals going through life transition over the past twenty-five years. What I have experienced is an increasing sense of dreams left behind and the loss of what really matters.

That’s why I’ve designed Step Into Your Future: Harness your power of what really matters.

This is a free ninety minute presentation. I will show you how to use the information about your life patterns, create new patterns that will serve you well in this world, how to capture the lost dreams and claim what really matters. 

I'd love to see you on July 19th. You are welcome to bring a friend. 

I look forward to talking with you soon.
Howard

Join me on July 19th at 7:00 pm.

Register by email. Just click here to let me know you want in. I’ll confirm with you right away.

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The Law of Forgiveness

How to live your Heart's Desire

In early July, I will be teaching a specific plan to help you design and live your heart's desire.

If you are frustrated, discontented or wondering what your heart's desire is and how to live it, then this evening presentation will be for you. 

Let me know if this is exciting for you . Just click here

Law of Forgiveness


There are certain universal laws you can learn and use to change the circumstances of your life. One of these is the Law of Forgiveness.

When I was fired from what I thought was my ultimate career, the context of my life was shattered. I had no idea who I was without that career. In addition, I felt a huge injustice had been done to me. The victim mentality was running strong.

I had a moment of truth, when I learned that to open my heart would bring me much more beneficial relationships and help me more than holding onto a grudge. In fact, the way I was living was cutting off those people who I wanted the closest relationships with. 

So, opening my heart included forgiveness. I had to forgive myself first for whatever I thought I had done wrong. Then I had to forgive those in the corporation who were responsible for letting me go.

Now, it’s important to understand that forgiveness does not mean that whatever was done to you was right or just or moral. It is just important to know that when you forgive you release yourself from the victim consciousness and move into personal independence.

If you are holding a grudge or hatred or fear against someone or something then I suggest you release it through forgiveness. It will free you up to live your life more abundantly.


I look forward to seeing you

Howard

 

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Self-Compassion

 

Self Compassion

I notice people speak to themselves in a mean way. I certainly am guilty of the same thing when I think I have done something wrong.

The gremlin that lives in us waits to take us down with language not befitting who we are.

You know how it sounds, “How stupid could you be to do that. You should have known better. That was a thoughtless thing you did. You never get it right.” And on the self talk goes taking you down a path of self flagellation. 

Let’s look at self compassion and how it might change the way you speak to yourself.

Self compassion is treating yourself with gentleness, love and understanding, much the same as you would toa child or a sick friend.

When faced with a challenging situation the first thing to do is stop. Stop doing whatever you are doing and sit down (unless you are driving). 

When you stop, take a few breaths and feel yourself settling into wherever you are.

Then start to speak to yourself in a much kinder way. Use statements such as:

May I be kind to myself in this moment

May I give myself compassion in this difficult situation

Take a moment to notice how your body feels. Notice if it is more quiet than when you started.

Before you go off into more activity just wrap your arms around you and squeeze yourself with love.

I guarantee you will quiet the voice of the gremlin and you will feel better.

 

Essential-Self MasterMind

Essential-Self = Authentic Self

As we gather to speak authentically, honestly and non-judgmentally with each other we feel better, accomplish more with less stress and save time because our community helps us.

The Essential-Self webinar coming soon. A one hour session with Howard Parsons.

Pre-registration is open now.  Register here

 

Copyright © 2017 Boomercartographer, All rights reserved. 


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Neuroscience and the Hero's Journey

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Neuroscience and the Hero's Journey

Here's the fourth excerpt from my new book, Moving On in Mid-Life...The Reinvention Equation. The manuscript has been sent to the publisher! Now the exciting part begins with editing, formatting and a marketing plan. Hope to have the hard copy available in September.
Neuroscience has exploded with scientific information about how our brain operates. We have so much potential for designing our life. This has become clear.
 

Neuroscience and the Hero's Journey
 

Nothing happens in the body or in our feeling self or in our thinking self without a message from the brain.  The growing scientific field of neuroscience provides important information on our journey. The connection between our brain and our physiology and our psychology is of great importance in understanding our journey and the personal control we have over how we take it on. 

First, my disclaimer, I am not a scientist. However, I see the amazing information that is showing up in the literature and labs as to the capabilities of our brains and how we can use this information to better live our lives. The reinvention journey relies on an understanding of the ability of your brain and the wonderful possibilities of your life when the information is applied to your circumstances.

Your brain is completely plastic. It changes constantly as you use it and the ability to change your neural connections in the brain never decreases as you get older. 

Our brains weigh about three pounds or 2% of our body weight yet they are a powerhouse of activity with over one hundred billion neurons. The neurons are the basic working unit of the brain and connect with other neurons in unique ways.

Without going into all the science, just look at it like a huge series of electrical connections firing in various sequences. Imagine a forest of trees. Each tree has thousands of tiny endingsthat are equipped to fire off electrical signals to the other tress in the forest. Every electrical impulse gores exactly to the right tree to complete the task being requested. If you hurt your hand, for example, certain neurons will fire to accentuate the pain and others will fire to tell you what you need to do about alleviating the pain. The correct trees in the forest have connected through these electrical impulses to provide the painresponse and the thought process for alleviating the pain. 

The neurons also create patterns of activity over time. Certain repeated activity will have the neurons firing in the same sequence over and over.  Each child born will develop certain neural firing patterns creating habits of activity as well as feeling and thinking patterns which will become a hallmark of how this child will live their life. Unless they learn how to change the patterns.

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Do You Have Emotional Sensory Amnesia?

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Do You Have Emotional Sensory Amnesia?

Here's the third excerpt from my new book, The Reinvention Equation. The second draft is almost done!
Emotional Sensory Amnesia is a term I have coined so we can examine what we have forgotten about our emotions and feelings. How do they work? What do we do with them? What feelings have you put away a long time ago? The awareness of emotions and feelings are key to the reinvention equation.
 

The initial adaptation for baby is at the physical level. Baby must adapt to the conditions in which they find themselves in order to be fed, cared for and loved. Baby has no control over their environment and so must learn how to get what they need to survive. The physical adaptation is one which baby will know for the rest of their life. It will show up in adapting as best they can to whatever circumstances show up. They cry to be fed, they smile and giggle to get loving attention and they learn very quickly what it takes to make the adults happy.

Baby also has feelings. The child sees what is happening in the family and reacts accordingly. In some families certain feelings are not allowed to be shown. Baby is very observant of what is happening in the family. If baby feels sad and expresses it, mother or father will give baby a message that sad is ok or not ok in this family. Baby quickly learns what they can express and what they need to keep hidden. 

For example, in my family, anger was never shown or talked about. If I was angry I learned to keep it to myself. This is confusing to a child who initially believes that they way they feel is what is ok to express. The idea of keeping certain feelings hidden is something the child will not only learn but will use to evaluate all situations whether at home, play or work as to what is ok to express and what must be kept within one’s own heart. This leads to stress within the child’s body which, when young, they do not have the skill of releasing. 

We used to say at the company I worked for, “Leave your personal life at home.” We interpreted that to mean don’t talk about your personal pain, or family issues at the office. Feelings were not welcomed when there was work to do. So the adaptation continued wherein feelings and emotions were locked away. The stories of what happened at work and how one felt about them were told at outside parties or with friends with whom we felt safe. In some way we were trying to relieve the stress created by bottling up all the feelings that were felt. They were real but unwanted in the world in which we lived. Our adaptation to what was required at work took a lot of energy to maintain but we learned to do it at what we now know is a huge cost to our emotional and physical health.

Childhood adaptation occurs at the physical, feeling and the thinking levels. We are pretty smart as kids and we soon learn what feelings are ok and not ok to express in the family. As in my case I decided it was not ok to express anger so that emotion went underground. There was no way I would express anger as an adult. First, I didn't think it was acceptable. Second, I had no practice in expressing it in a healthy way.This is Emotional Sensory Amnesia (ESA).
We forget that to express a wide range of feelings is normal. However, our adaptive habitual training leads us to only express those feelings we have learned are on the approved list. The feedback loop between the brain and the feelings is stuck in a particular neural pattern. That means the default is always what we think we know in the moment, not what we have forgotten.
In order to make a change in the neural pattern and therefore a change in our life we need to recognize what is taking place and consciously choose to have a different experience.

 

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Why I am Writing This Book

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Why I am Writing This Book

Here's the second excerpt from my new book, The Reinvention Equation. For those of us over fifty, we expected a different outcome for our lives. What happened to freedom fifty-five?
Now, rather that look externally we must look internally to reinvent and rediscover the creative nature at our core and apply that to our life going forward. 
 

Excerpt Number Two: Why I am Writing This Book

Things were supposed to be different. 

 I remember walking home on a cold February day from high school knowing my mother was sick but holding deep in my heart she would be ok. She had been sick for a long time. There had been times over the past seven years when she had been in hospital, still no one talked about it like it was a serious illness. 

My dad had worked hard as an Osteopathic doctor to provide a beautiful two story home in an old tree lined neighborhood. My bedroom looked out over the river from high up on the hill. Everything looked perfect.

I realize now I lived in an adapted cocoon where what was really happening was either not talked about or made to look better than it was. Not this time. There was no escaping the reality of what was happening when I got home.

The doctor was there, my dad was there, as well as my aunts Peggy and Helen, my mother’s sisters. The atmosphere was somber yet outwardly calm.

I made myself a peanut butter sandwich which always seemed to calm me.  Outwardly looking calm, my stomach churned like a mixer stirring up cement. Sitting at the dining room table my aunt Helen was talking about my mother but it just sounded like white noise to me. I was deep into my own thinking not paying attention. My learning had been to put away feelings and not show people how you felt.

I pretended nothing was wrong as I concentrated on math homework while my mother’s groans of pain wafted down the stairs from her bedroom. 

I was called up to see her. As I lay my head on her chest, tears flowed as I felt her shallow breathing. She held me in her fragile hands brushing her thin fingers through my hair. She was fifty-two years old ravaged by cancer.  She died that night. I was fourteen.

 The specifics of how I managed are a blur but I remember the sense of responsibility and aloneness I felt. The death of my mother ripped through my heart. Yet, I buried what I deeply felt, not realizing the impact that would have on my life.
When we ignore what we feel inside we turn away from our true self, our essential self and engage in life from the outside in. It was this realization that started me on the path to living from the inside out. That is where the hope is. That is where, when you say yes and don’t know the path that Divine Guidance and the Universe can show up. If you are able to listen you will know what to do in the moment. 

We children are so adaptable. I adapted to my father’s grief. I adapted to the leaving home of my older sister and brother after my mother’s death. I adapted by not talking to anyone about my feelings.  I adapted to someone close to me dying and feeling alone in the world. I decided at that time I was on my own. I was the one to make sure that I took care of myself.
I took up partying and found solace in alcohol.  Alcohol became the filler of the empty spaces within me for the next thirty-four years. 
When we adapt as children, we think our adaptations are who we are. We take these beliefs, behaviors and attitudes into our adult life unexamined. I had been close to my mother. She was where I felt safe in the world. When she was gone so was safety. The strategy of living as though the world is not a safe place is one which, as an adult, attempting to make it in the corporate world led me to pretend to be an extravert because that was what was called for in the working environment. I knew deep inside me the outward appearances did not match my inner feelings of aloneness.
My generation had expectations. We were to have the freedom fifty-five lifestyle. We expected to marry, have families and retire with free time to travel and play in the sunset years. What I observe now is fear, personal health crisis, family loss, divorce, career and economic tsunamis that are creating suffering and disrupting our plans big time.
Now is the time to look inside and examine the inner topography to see what is flourishing, what is dying off, what we don’t need any more and what is to be discovered up until now has not been seen. The creative parts within us are small green shoots striving to grow and be nourished. We must nourish them now because that is what is called for at this time in our life.

The old beliefs, behaviors and attitudes do not serve us any longer. To hold on to ways which we have used for many years is like locking ourselves in a cage with no way out. It is time for us to turn away from the journey of our life as we have known it in all its adaptations and take the journey of discovery to mobilize our essential self to be in a life we love.
Our world needs each of us to access and mobilize the creative power within us that goes beyond our age old adaptations and embraces the truth residing within us.
This is why I am writing this book.
This is my passion and I hope this book provides a road map for you to do that in your life. I am with you on this journey.

 

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The reinvention Equation

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The reinvention Equation

Here's an excerpt from my new book, The reinvention Equation. I'm looking at how we can apply creativity to our lives when change is called for. I hope you'll take a moment and leave a comment and share with your friends. I plan on sending out more excerpts from time to time.



Have you ever reinvented yourself?

I am sure you have but may not be aware of how you did it or what resources internal or external you brought to bear for it to happen.

I know I have reinvented myself several times. Mostly out of unplanned circumstances that had me change direction.

Even though there was a feeling of a lack of power in those times, a change was called for and there was nothing I could do about it. 

One of the first reinventions I remember as being a big one was the divorce from my first wife. This was a big one. I was unaware of what was happening, not emotionally available to the relationship and totally self centered on my own life. 

Notwithstanding counseling sessions that I considered a waste of time (that was my perspective at that time in my life - not any longer), I carried on with my business and personal life as though there was no disconnect with my partner, as though she could not possibly be in pain because of her experience. 

Sure, we had discussions from time to time with what I perceived as threats to my well being through my activities like working long hours and traveling most of the time. Notwithstanding the information I was getting, I just carried on doing what I always did. 

Then one day the end came. She was done. I did not see it coming because I was out of touch with my intuition and my feelings. I had thought things through and told myself I had things figured out. As you might have guessed, I didn’t have anything figured out.

The moment of reinvention had appeared and I was not ready for it.

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Want More Happiness?

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Want More Happiness?

Want More Happiness?

 

Kaizen-Heart-Mind-Body

 

Want More Happiness?
 

The wholeness and importance of the heart-mind-body connection is being shown more and more through scientific research to be important to our sense of well being.
 

Many of the sages throughout history have said there is something beyond our brain and mind to which we are connected. Call it consciousness or God or whatever but it is there.
 

This aspect of us humans plus our ability to regulate, change and educate the heart-mind-body connection is our way to more of what we want and less of what we don’t want.
 

The more you engage in a practice, the stronger the neural connections and heart connections become such that they react automatically to situations. If you want more happiness, for example, then you will need to make an effort to educate yourself, and practice a different way of thinking and thus acting.
 

You are a human of possibility. Nothing in our world is static. Therefore your heart-mind-body system continually takes in information and learns how to have you be in the world.
 

Awakening to the fluid and malleable system which makes up you is in your control.
 

Want more happiness? Choose first to train yourself to use your heart-mind-body in a new way.

Howard

Career Coaching

Life can seem uncertain when you are in the midst of a career change. There is just one thing to remember.
Creating your resume is not the first step.
The first step is becoming clear on what you are passionate about and what skills and tools you have to bring to your passion.

If you wish more information please send me an email to parsons.howard@gmail.com

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Walk Your Dog A Thousand Miles

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Walk Your Dog A Thousand Miles

Walk Your Dog A Thousand Miles

Here’s a story that may illustrate the point that you can change the way your brain and mind process information. I offer it here because what I see is the misunderstanding how the mind works. There is great potential in knowing and understanding how the mind can work to our benefit.

 

So a few months ago we got a new dog. He’s a sheepadoodle. You see his picture at the top of this blog. His name is Satish, which means love and devotion. Half sheepdog and half poodle, he’s got a blend of both behaviors and characteristics.

He has grown fast from a small puppy to a fairly hefty fifty pounds at five months of age. He loves the action wherever he can find it with people or other dogs.  He is strong and fast and stubborn. Either he is walking me or I am walking him. Always one of us is in control. After getting to a place of despair, thinking I would never get him trained properly, I turned to a professional dog trainer to help me figure out what to do. 

 

The point of my story is that I had no idea how to train a dog. It really is not about the dog. It is about the trainer! As a novice trainer I am realizing I need to learn how to train the dog to behave as I want him to. 

It takes instruction, intention and practice to train a dog. You literally have to walk him a thousand miles to have him learn the behaviors you want him to display. At the same time I have to become the trainer the dog will pay attention to. There is a skill to this. My trainer calls it having the sonar so the dog gets the vibe. Patience, tenacity, understanding and love all play a part in getting to where I want to be in my relationship with Satish.

The same idea applies to your brain and thus your behaviors. If you wish to change something, for example, they way you react to certain experiences, then you need instruction, intention and practice.

The human brain is very malleable to change. The connections that have been formed by your brain are simply energetic connections between neurons. No matter how long they have been firing together the connections can be changed as you desire.

So, stories you and I have told ourselves for years about our life can be changed. Just like training my dog to act in a certain way. It just takes patience and practice, tenacity and love.

The hopeful aspect about this idea is that you nor I don’t have to be stuck in old patterns if we don’t want to be. Many times we operate from these old ideas unconsciously and automatically. Our mind has stored the patterns to be brought up and used depending on what circumstances we face.

So, to change our patterns takes a conscious act to create something new. We have the choice to choose rather than allow old patterns to drive our behaviors.

I’ve learned from my new puppy (does not seem like a puppy at fifty pounds) that there is a natural resistance to change. The same old ways of doing things are inbred over generations. What we don’t realize is that these patterns are only valid for as long as we accept them as being valid.

You change your life when you use the proper tools to change old patterns of your brain and mind. 
 

Howard

P.S. I am considering doing a short (30-45 minutes) introductory webinar on the topic of changing our patterns. Would you be kind enough to let me know if you would be interested by answering this one question?

Click here to answer.

Thanks!

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One Thought

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One Thought

One Thought

“You are not your brain.

You are the user of your brain.

Your brain serves you.” Dr Rudi Tanzi


 Your brain is a powerhouse of trillions of neural connections. These neural connections are the engine of our thinking based on what is stored in memory. The relationships your neurons have created go back many years which has led to the myth that our brain is “hardwired” and cannot be changed. 

What many of us don’t realize is these connections are only good as long as we keep using them in the same patterns we always have.

I’m taking a chance here diving into neuroscience. However, I’ve studied a bit of it and I am passionate about sharing the ideas around neuroscience and how our brains function.

Back in the old days when you were a kid you formed neural connections based on information you took in and how the world works for you. Scientists say we pretty much make up our world by age six and liveas if its true from that time forward.

What we now know is that any neural connection can be changed with three ingredients.

These include making a choice and setting an intention, instruction as to how to do it and practice.

Much like going on a diet, many people start with the first two but drop the practice because they think they got it. 

Change will happen over time with a dedicated practice to making the new reality you want in your life.

Every thought we have forms our reality in the moment usually based on our history.  If you want a different outcome in response to life’s events then you need to understand that you can choose how to react. 

The events of life do not do anything to you. Thinking creates a feeling which in turn creates a reaction. So the process is one of inside out not the other way around.

This would tell you the power you have to choose your life. Your history does not need to be your future because the neural connections are only held together when you think the same old way.

Just like unplugging a lamp from the outlet. When there is no more power the lamp does not turn on.


Choosing to change the way you experience life is like that. Take the power away from the neural connection and you can form new connections based on your choice.

There is a lot more to say about this subject but let’s leave it here for now.

Think about how you can experience your life from the inside out rather than the other way around.

Howard
P.S. There is nothing wrong with you. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to.

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I'M Back! Hello Friends

Kaizen-Heart-Mind-Body

Hello Friends,
 

It has been nine months (seems appropriate) since I turned off the keyboard on “Hopeful Notes.”  It was a wonderful experience for seven and a half years to share inspirational ideas with you.  However, I had to go on a   journey. The journey has been inside... out. I have studied, meditated, taken courses and talked to lots of people.
 

I’m inspired to share with you my journey and what I have learned about the heart, the mind and the physical body.  When you learn to connect them in an active way  you can experience a new way of looking at life.


This blog is called “Kaizen-Heart-Mind-Body …continuous improvement for that which already works.”  That’s because there is nothing wrong with you or me. We are fine just the way we are. At the same time, we live in an ever changing, fast moving world. Sometimes adjustments are called for on our journey. Not to fix anything broken but simply to improve on what is already working.


 I intend, through this blog, to give you practical ideas you can use in your daily life. The discoveries I have made over these past nine months and the insights about my life have changed the course of my thinking, speaking and coaching. 


The intelligence of your heart, the expansive and amazing aspects of the mind through neuroscience as well as physical health and the intelligence of the physical body leave no doubt in my mind as to the power of connecting these elements.

We will share wisdom, insights and perspectives that help us continuously improve our understanding and awareness of heart, mind and body with the confidence and knowledge that we are fine as we are.


Hope you’ll join the journey as we explore, experiment and choose.

Howard


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