The anxiousness gnaws away at my stomach as I wait for the plumber to appear.
In have been in training for most of my life learning to control all situations that appear.
When something shows up broken then fix it whether it be my plumbing or a person.
This time it is minus forty outside, it is four p.m. on a Friday night and I have a water leak in my basement!
First chaos erupted inside me. The voice of anger, the voice of criticism and the voice of get this fixed now.
The useless phone calls to every plumber in the city who are busy for the next week. That is unless I am willing to pay a king's ransom for them to come on an emergency basis on Saturday.
Meanwhile the water stain on my carpet edges toward my most comfortable chair in the house.
The lesson I learn is to step into fear. Step into the space that has been opened by fear because that is the place healing is possible.
Take a breath. Let the anxious feeling be there and allow awareness of self to return. Let yourself become open to the solution showing up.
The door bell rings.
Interestingly enough, a friend came to visit. Naturally, I had to tell my story. It’s always best when you have an audience to hear your grievances.
They gave me the name of a plumber who, within the hour, had two plumbers on scene. Amazing coincidence? I think not.
Good thing they were competent because in my control mode it was my only option to attend to the situation with them, direct them as to what to do and get them to move as quickly as possible to fix the problem.
You get my point about control. Useless in this case.
They knew what they were doing. The situation was fixed within the hour and they didn't need me telling them what to do.
Lesson learned. When you step into the space of fear, let go.
Those you have called to help will do their job without you on their back.
Step into fear with your body, breath and emotion because it is the fearlessness within you that can create relationship with fear such that fear subsides.
You will be challenged to step in and step in and step in once more than you think you need to in order to be with fear in a way that awakens your fearlessness and accesses your essential self to what you need in the moment.
This is who you are.